


Loathe

by incognitodarling



Series: How to Feel [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, Modern Era, Past Relationship(s), Roommates, Texting, thomas "mr. steal yo man" jefferson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-06 09:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10331906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incognitodarling/pseuds/incognitodarling
Summary: The feeling of loathing is strong hatred towards one person or idea. This person's name is Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson loathes him with all of his heart. His smug attitude, his pretending to know everything, and his refusal to be defeated is enough to make Thomas swear never to even attempt a friendship with him.Until he accidentally goes on a date with him. It's enough to make him scream.





	1. A Tangled State

"I hate you," Alexander bursts quietly in a small grocery store. "The only reason I'm not working in my room and grocery shopping with you is because you only get macaroni. Have you ever heard of a food group besides dairy and grains?" A new reason to hate Thomas, he eats macaroni as fast as Alexander could lose his temper on him. Which meant he needed boxes of the stuff to be pacified. Or at least a little less bitchy than usual, as the other man liked to put it.  
Thomas scoffs, dismissing his opinion with a wave of his hand. "Why is it a crime to love a certain food? Let me eat my favorite foods in peace. As long as I help pay the rent, you have to put up with me until further notice." He laughs. Alexander shoves him away from the pasta aisle, that's where the forbidden food is, and after Thomas' smart comment, Alexander feels he doesn't deserve any choice in what to eat for the foreseeable future. They end up by the store's alcohol aisle. He's right about having to put up with him, but Alexander pivots the subject back to the fact that he hates Thomas with every bone, muscle, and nerve in his body. Scratch that, every cell in his body.  
"Every minute I'm with you, I somehow find even more reasons to hate you," Alexander sighs. This was as normal as an outing with him and his roommate could be. Thomas used to be across the hall from him in college, back when Alexander didn't know enough about him to reach the conclusion that he was absolutely insufferable as a human being. He couldn't keep up with the rent on his own, and he didn't want to have a period of time where he was on his own. He asked Thomas to be his roommate because he had heard he was similar to him from one of his friends. And somehow, Thomas was a bit better than being homeless and broke, so he has to stick around for the long run.  
"Maybe I should grab a few of these wine bottles and chug them until I find you manageable," Thomas points out, placing his hand and leaning on a rack of wine bottles.  
Alexander chuckles, not being able to tune the joke out of his head in time. "We can't get wine, your macaroni addiction's already too expensive. Besides, you're a stupid drunk person." Just when Thomas seems he's had enough, Alexander adds, "And a stupid sober person too, as a matter of fact."  
The other man decides to shut up for now and keeps strolling down the aisles in silence. Alexander feels a twinge of pride, but he knows it's not over. It's never over when it comes to debating against Thomas Jefferson.  
Thomas somehow manages to smuggle in one box of macaroni. Alexander usually didn't care about this unless he says something about it, hell, he frequently let Thomas slide if he didn't say anything about it. "Guess what's for dinner tonight," he smugly remarks. The other man, if given the chance, would slap his stupid smirk off of his face right then and there. They're in public though, and Alexander doesn't want to introduce moments of just violence into their friendship, if you could call it a friendship. He hates to admit it, but Thomas would very well beat him in a fight, being less scrawny than the other. So he decides to hold back.  
"Oh, I don't know, macaroni?" he replies while rolling his eyes. Sarcasm never affected Thomas though, and this time is no exception.  
Thomas says, "No, takeout. I have to make this macaroni last. We're on a budget because _someone_ keeps spending all of the food money on coffee. It's not even a food, for god's sake!"  
Alexander scowls in dismay. He had been expecting this. Thomas always liked to point out his hypocrisy. Which did _not_ exist in Alexander's eyes. "Time is money, and by using my money to buy coffee, I buy myself more time to be productive. Thus, coffee is earning me money," Alexander explains with a slight smile on his face.  
Here goes another debate, they both think to themselves. This usually ended in heated arguments, and being kicked out from public places. "Quick-witted, but you do realize you're slowly developing a tolerance to caffeine, and you'll need to spend more on coffee to get the same effect?"  
"You have a law degree, not a medical one. I'd like to see some citations." Alexander would despise having to say it to his face, but Thomas was right. He did have some sort of addiction to caffeine.  
"You know I'm right, though. Oh, wait, let's go research it together so I can laugh in your face when you realize you're wrong." Thomas laughs off the debate, and just like that, it's over for now. The winner keeps his prideful stride and smirk, while the loser plots his next move for the next debate.  
Thomas grabs most of the grocery bags and walks to their shared car. Alexander reluctantly follows with some bags in hands. He can't help but notice the silent competition to see who could carry the most bags, and that he's _losing._  
When Thomas arrives at their shared apartment, he quickly gets under the covers of his, thankfully _not_ shared, bed. He waits until Alexander gets back into his room to work. Then Thomas hears the faint click of Alexander locking his door, and gets out his phone. Thomas always thought Alexander was trying to hide something in that room of his, but if he brought this up, Alexander would immediately point out that he watches his phone like a hawk constantly.  
He watches it for a good reason though. He didn't want Alexander knowing what he did in his spare time. Mostly talk to his friend James Madison, a stone-cold but loyal friend since middle school, but he also talked to someone else he had met. Their conversations mainly consisted of them bitching about their roommates. Alexander would freak out about him being talked about behind his back, so Thomas didn't talk to Alexander about what he did in his free time frequently. Not that Alexander would even ask or care in the first place.  
_velvetsass has logged on._  
thetomcat: you arrived at the perfect time, ugh.  
velvetsass: like i'd ever miss a conversation with the one and only. what'd he do this time?  
thetomcat: my roommate decided to critique my fashion sense the other day. i'm still a bit upset.  
velvetsass: oh no, was he too harsh on you?  
thetomcat: apparently i look like the pits of fashion but then i also try too hard.  
velvetsass: but there's no such thing as trying too hard. no masterpiece is effortless.  
thetomcat: thanks, love. really needed to hear that, i'm stuck in a mountain of work.  
velvetsass: sorry about that. your roommate's an ass.  
thetomcat: not as bad as your roommate.  
velvetsass: i said once that everytime he spoke i felt like drinking. he told me, "maybe i'll talk more and you'll get liver poisoning." he usually apologizes later if it goes too far like that. suppose he forgot. he's always working on some stupid project in his room. honestly, it feels like i have to drag him out to places. sorry for ranting.  
thetomcat: it's okay, your roommate's a huge bitch. i'd punch him if i ever had to deal with someone like that for more than two minutes.  
velvetsass: always passionate as usual. don't get violent or anything.  
thetomcat: right. we're still on for meeting at the bar tomorrow?  
velvetsass: you know it. in the meantime, try not to kill him. i'd rather not have my first meeting with you in jail.  
thetomcat: haha that'd be something  
thetomcat: okay i'm gonna go get ready in advance. gotta get the masterpiece prepared for tomorrow.  
_thetomcat has logged off._  
Thomas smiles to himself, resisting the urge to hold his phone against his chest. An actual date with a special someone who's been talking to him daily. They'd both been planning to meet for a while, and tomorrow was the perfect time. He decides to leave one of his better suits on the dresser. Not his best suit though, he said once that he hates when his roommate wears flashy things just to get attention, and his best suit had _sequins_. Yes, sequins. He wonders what kind of situation he'd need this suit for.  
Alexander's knocking at his door. Thomas can tell it's him because of the subtle gesture he makes to let Thomas know who's at his door. Which is grumbling, "If you don't open this fucking door in _five_ seconds, I'm kicking it down." Subtle _and_ charming.  
Thomas opens the door. Alexander looks at him with an odd expression. "What's with that smug look?" he asks.  
"Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong, _Hamilton_."  
"Can I borrow some of your cologne?" the man at Thomas's door quickly asks. "Not the one that chokes me alive, though. That scent is indescribable and disgusting."  
Thomas begrudgingly throws him a bottle of cologne on his desk, knowing exactly which one Alexander despises most. Alexander fumbles with it for a bit before it rests in his arms. He quickly thanks Thomas, though it didn't sound too genuine, and leaves.  
There's no time to think about him, Thomas thinks to himself. He had something else to do.  
_thetomcat has logged on._  
thetomcat: before i forget, when we arrive, look for someone holding their pinky. that'll be our signal.  
velvetsass: smart idea, as always. would've been funny seeing you trying to guess who i was though.  
thetomcat: i'm not very good at guessing, ha. anyway, i just finished getting my outfit ready for tomorrow. hope my roommate doesn't mind i borrowed some of his money.  
velvetsass: wow, what's this rebellious streak for? care to share?  
thetomcat: it's revenge. he forgot to pay his share of the rent last month.  
velvetsass: again, what an ass. hope i won't see him. i'd have to kick him where it would hurt.  
thetomcat: you won't. he's going out tomorrow i think, he usually goes out on fridays and he hates being anywhere near me.  
velvetsass: okay, good.  
_velvetsass has logged off._  
"Hamilton, I'm hungry. Let's go get our takeout." Thomas bangs on Alexander's door. "Honestly, I don't understand what's so secret about you working that you feel the need to lock your door."  
The door clicked, and the man walks out. His hair is a bit messed up, and Thomas scoffs. "Brush your hair, please. It was fine when we went to the grocery store."  
"If it bothers you so much, do something about it. You should know that by now," Alexander replies.  
"Just brush your hair. Don't be difficult," Thomas sighs. The things he dealt with in this apartment were growing to be too much.  
Alexander rolls his eyes. "Make me, Jefferson."  
"Maybe I will." Thomas grabs a brush from the bathroom and stops him from walking out the door. "Put some effort into your appearance," Thomas remarks while running the brush through Alexander's hair.  
"Yeah, I could do that, but then you'll say I'm overdressed. Why are you judging my— Ow. You hit my ear." Alexander rubbed at his ear, and says, "You're never satisfied with my appearance. I don't understand how people can stand to suck up to you, let alone _like_ you."  
Thomas hit a tangle in Alexander's hair. He pulls down on the brush hard. He would've gone more gently, but Alexander _had_ to put in his two cents. "Jesus, Jefferson, are you trying to rip my hair out?!" Alexander exclaims.  
" _Sorry_. It was an accident." Thomas apologizes, though in an extremely forced way. Finally, Thomas appears to have gotten rid of most of the tangles, and he places the brush back down. "You're welcome, _Hamilton_."  
"I hate you," Alexander bursts quietly in their shared space.  
Thomas finally responds, "I think the feeling's mutual."  
**_End of Chapter One_**


	2. Premature Evacuation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas goes on his much-anticipated date. Spoiler, it doesn't go over well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops i accidentally went on a break.  
> okay so i really thought about where i wanted to go with this until i realized this story was going way too fast. (background info: in my docs, they kiss and make up like *that*) so i decided to ~take a break~ which sort of dissolved into a month. i'm hecka sorry, and my exams definitely can't excuse a ridiculously long break like that.   
> Dedicated to my friends, who listened to my excessively long summary of this (again, sorry guys.) Love you guys still.

"I hate you," Thomas says. "Where is my suit? I need it." The man is nervous that Alexander would ruin his date, but he's mostly just angry at him. He _knows_ Alexander took his suit. He wonders why he even bothers to talk to him.  
Alexander smiles knowingly, which makes Thomas want to pull out his hair. To think he even bothered to spend time on it. "I don't know." Thomas sighs, and holds out his hand.  
"Give me my suit, Hamilton. You're being a child."  
The other man grumbles. "You have like, ten other suits, rich kid. I need that suit." Thomas keeps glaring at him. Alexander finally steps back down and fetches the suit for him.  
"My pants won't even fit you, shortstack. Why do you need a suit?" Thomas asks. Even though his tone suggests he doesn't care, deep down, he's curious. There's a little thought in the back of his head, suggesting that Alexander might be going on a date. Thomas almost scrunches up in disgust at the next thought that Alexander could be his date. They both established they were near each other, and his roommate sounded a lot like him...  
Thomas shuts himself up before he visibly gags. It can't be him, he thinks to himself. Alexander is intolerable, and that opinion would never change if Thomas could say anything about it.  
Alexander mockingly repeats Thomas's words, "Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong, Jefferson." Thomas grabs the suit from Alexander's hands and goes back into his room to change. He spends more time than he usually did preparing for the day, because this is the day. Everything needs to be perfect. He sighs, realizing a good comeback at that moment. Thomas finds himself reaching for the door knob. He pulls back his hand. Like he'd ever want to spend more time with Alexander.  
Alexander goes back into his room, locking the door. He'd get ready for the day later. He decides to call Lafayette, he'd know what to do. The man picks up after a few seconds.  
"Bonjour, Alexander," Lafayette greets. "How's your morning?"  
Alexander responds, "Terrible. I've got a date, and I don't even have anything nice to wear."  
"I'll pick you up in a few minutes and we'll prepare you," he replies. Alexander smiles. He could always rely on Lafayette, and he's the closest to Alexander in terms of distance. He's always leaned on Lafayette for support because he was the best person for giving advice and listening to his problems. He hangs up first, grabbing the things he did have prepared. Which is merely the cologne, because Thomas could only spare him that. Alexander decides to spray it on his wrist out of curiosity.  
"Ugh," Alexander groans, scrunching up his nose. It's Thomas' usual cologne, which meant that for his entire day, he'd be thinking about how much he hates Thomas and this stupid scent.  
Lafayette's car parks outside of the apartment building, which he sees through his window. Alexander rushes down the stairs as if someone told him he won a mansion and could leave Thomas right now. In other words, he restrains himself from sliding down the banister.  
He hugs the man at the door of the building. It's been a while since Alexander had last saw him. Lafayette laughs and opens the passenger car door for him, fixing his hair from one of Alexander's affectionate noogies.  
"So what's this date's name?" he asks when the two settle in their seats.  
Alexander shrugs. "It's sort of like a blind date, but we know each other. We just haven't seen each other in person yet."  
"Aw, look, Alexander's all grown up," the other teases, starting the vehicle. He starts driving towards the shopping district, according to his GPS.  
Alexander says, "It's stupid, but I think I have a real connection, excuse the pun, with someone again. I don't think anything could ruin this day." Lafayette nods in understanding, being the person he is, which is someone Alexander could always count on for his times of need.  
"Now, let's make you drop-dead gorgeous!" Lafayette yells, stopping the car at a clothing store. Alexander cheers with him. "I heard Hercules is going to work here," Lafayette comments. "We can all get together, even Laurens—he's staying with me— and have a few drinks, just like old times." Alexander laughs. Lafayette's always a sucker for reminiscing. And highschool dramas, which Alexander loves to tease Lafayette about.  
"That'd be nice," Alexander comments. Lafayette escorts him into the store, showing him his favorite items from the racks. Before long, he finds an outfit for Alexander, despite the challenge of finding sleeves that didn't extend past his fingers or pants that were too long for his legs. He supposes that's what happened when someone whose name wasn't Alexander Hamilton shopped for him.  
Lafayette claps in approval, shushing him when Alexander insists that he'll pay. "Non, non, I insist. Consider it a gift from the one and only," Lafayette says, bowing.  
Jefferson taps his fingers against the bar counter. Though his mind as of right now is a raging battlefield of 'it can't be him' and 'it could be,' he's merely content with the idea of going on a date. For once in his life, he's spending a weekend night out instead of arguing with Alexander of who would get the bigger portion of the food budget. He sighs, knowing he would've won this time around if he stayed home.  
He takes out his phone.  
velvetsass: where are you???  
thetomcat: i just finished getting ready, i'll be there in like five minutes.  
thetomcat: i would've been there sooner if my roommate actually let me borrow his suit.  
Funny. He just argued with Alexander about that today. Thomas cracks a smile.  
Wait. His happy expression falters as he quickly types a response.  
velvetsass: uh. something came up.  
thetomcat: what's going on? are you okay?  
Thomas resists the urge to throw his phone. He just did that today, there was no denying that it was 'just a common roommate thing' or 'it can't be him.' No, it's him. It's Alexander, and he isn't having it.  
He leaves the bar and goes back home. There's no use sticking around in a place with cancelled plans, so Thomas ends up back in an empty apartment.  
There's a sticky note on the fridge. "You left early, so naturally, I assumed you didn't want any of next week's food budget." Thomas curses. He'd been hoping to get his hands on some boxes of linguini. Maybe have some more variety besides macaroni, but no, Alexander has to ruin everything. He shudders at the thought of all the coffee creamer the other was going to buy.  
He writes on the sticky note with the pen Alexander left behind in a rush. "To make things fair, I get the week after that."  
After that, he goes back into his bedroom and sulks. Madison would've probably yelled at him for being overdramatic, especially with his wardrobe choice. He debates on whether slamming his head on a wall could get rid of Madison's nagging voice.  
"I'm a mess," Thomas sighs, "who has a voice in their head giving passive-aggressive advice with my old friend's voice. How can it get sadder than this?" His phone buzzes. "Oh, right," he says.  
thetomcat: please tell me you didn't die because that would suck  
thetomcat: tell me you're all right?  
velvetsass: is your name alexander?  
thetomcat: yes? but are you okay?  
velvetsass: it's thomas.  
thetomcat: what? is he the one dying? because that would suck, but considerably less.  
velvetsass: I'M THOMAS YOU IDIOT.  
thetomcat: wait...  
velvetsass: yeah and i was about to go on a date with you!  
thetomcat: how did you not pick up on this sooner?  
velvetsass: i'd ask you the same question, but i somehow seem to already know the answer.  
thetomcat: what now?  
velvetsass: what do you mean what now?  
thetomcat: i mean, it's disgusting to think about us on a date, but it happened.  
velvetsass: yeah everytime i think about us together i feel like i could throw up  
velvetsass: i loathe you.  
thetomcat: as do i, jefferson.  
velvetsass: hamilton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I love every comment, and I love this fandom because it's such a happy place full of history nerds like me.  
> The chapter's shorter than my usual goal of 2k words because... well, does anybody really want to hear one thousand words of Thomas being an angsty teenager?  
> To make up for my break, I can tell a joke I definitely did not come up with at midnight. What's Lin's favorite kind of pasta?  
> Lin-guini.

**Author's Note:**

> *curtsies*  
> I feel more proud of this than I should be. I just feel so satisfied (By the way, excuse the multiple puns.) finishing chapters. I'm mostly done with this work already, I just need to proofread and finish a few chapters. Expect an update next Thursday.  
> Thank you for reading this!  
> Oh, and yes, I did misread "velvetsass" as "velvetass" because I'm a ball of sin.


End file.
